A Little Life: and How Bitterly Little, I'm Sorry.

- a novel by Hanya Yanagihara

Oh boy! Where do I begin with this one? The book catches you off guard, it's not little for one. It is filled with trigger warnings- the first hint of what the story has to offer. I was both drained and happy to have finished the book. No, scratch that. I was too numb to feel a thing. That is what this book will do to you. But it is numbness in it's most highest degree (yes, most and highest). If I had to choose a word to describe the book (say suppose I was held at gunpoint because- is one word doing it justice? would I even dare to?), that word would be unforgettable.

So buckle up, like the 720 pages of sweet torture, this one's lengthier than the others.

Spoiler - Free Summary : Another story set in New-York, it follows four graduated friends who pursue varied lifestyles after. Willem, an aspiring actor; Malcolm, an unsatisfied Chandler Bing of the architect world; JB, a talented struggling artist; and Jude, a brilliantly troubled lawyer, damaged by abuse and childhood trauma, who is also the central character of the story (and for his friends!). We see their lives over the decades and their interactions with Jude. Like most, if not all, their relationships go through the changes of time. They fall in and out with each, drift apart then come together, their struggle with loss and addiction, character developments and their coming-of-age.

Word of warning, this book contains descriptions of abuse, self-harm, and suicidal ideation, amongst many other content warnings. Even my lowly unqualified self would suggest not reading it if you feel you're not quite in the right mental or emotional space.

My Two - Cents : The book is immersive, if you let yourself overcome how overwhelming the book looks at first. The story sucks you into its deeply overbearing yet addictive world. The characters etch themselves into your consciousness- you feel for them and start feeling like them. Take a breather, multiple. You care for the characters, then the story completely destroys them and in doing so obliterates your soul along with it. But for all the pain that we see, there are mountains of love and acts of kindness embedded within the pages.

I wasn't only being theatrical when I said I was both drained and happy to have finished the book. I love that I read it, that I knew the characters, felt for them, smiled and cried with them but I am relieved I'm done with it, even more so now that I'm past being emotionally invested in it post-reading. The general characterisation of the book, unlike its theme, is simple- the lasting effect of childhood abuse and violence, how it shapes and defines all the different parts of a person's life. It is the interactions, how the characters and their stories are portrayed that makes it such a beautiful chronicle. It's a great novel to know but a hard pill to swallow.